Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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