ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
