I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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