I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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