So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
