This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
