I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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