mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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