I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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