does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
