I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You took a bar mat shot.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
