My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
