i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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