he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
