Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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