I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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