Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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