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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
