I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
