thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
