If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
