areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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