i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
