um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
