I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
