roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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