it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
