It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize