I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
