TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
