Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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