Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
