you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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