No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
