Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
