I want to have your abortion
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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