she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
