I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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