smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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