break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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