if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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