....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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