Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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