i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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