that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
