first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize