Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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