I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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