she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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