thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
