Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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