Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
