why didn't you poke me back
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
