do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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