you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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