i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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