Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
