Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
