I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
