just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
