my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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