What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
