I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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