I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
